A few months ago I was watching the 15th episode of Hell’s Kitchen where Chef Milly was eliminated from the competition. In his confessional, blanked by tears, he thanked Chef Gordon Ramsey for the opportunity, knowledge, and love that he was showered with during his time under Chef Ramsey’s tutelage. Witnessing that unparalleled amount of love a student had for his teacher got me to thinking about who that corresponding educator was in my life – the person that gave me a chance to shine, provided me with invaluable knowledge, and showered me with copious amounts of love during my time as their student.
Seeing as it was Teacher Appreciation Week last week and the week is traditionally accustomed to displays of gratitude and recognition I found it only fitting that I write a blog post about who that person was and why they were the best teacher I ever had. It also coincidentally coincided with the conclusion of another semester in my doctoral program so I found myself with some free time…haha! Without further adieu, the best teacher that I ever had was my high school band director, Mr. Jeffrey Moore.
Mr. Moore and I go way back. We met in 2003 when I was in the 6th grade. Little did I know it, he was going to be an educator that played a large role in the person that I am today. During that time my family didn’t have the means necessary to purchase a clarinet for my personal use. I take it that Mr. Moore recognized my affinity for all things music and allowed me to borrow a clarinet from the high school so long as I returned it when I arrived there for the following school year (my town has a combined junior/senior high school). Unbeknownst to me, the opportunity he had just created would blossom into such an integral part of my life.
Why was Mr. Moore the best teacher I’ve ever had? The answer is simple and complex at the same time. Mr. Moore was much more than just my music teacher/band director…he was my friend, a 2nd father, my competition, and my role model all at exactly the right moments. Under his tutelage, he pushed me well past my limits and created opportunities for me that under normal circumstances I never would have had the opportunity.
As the years passed by and I carefully honed my craft I began to earn admittance into highly selective regional honors bands where practices were, of course, located a considerable distance from where I lived. Having two parents that needed to work in order to provide for my family (thanks, Mom and Dad!) Mr. Moore willingly stepped in to drive me to and from my rehearsal’s more times than I could possibly remember, the first being when I was accepted into the All South Jersey Junior High Band. The drive was over an hour and a half from our school. At first, the car ride was awkward; I was 13 and going through the weirdest phase of my life to date, not to mention being the only person from my school selected to this honors band in my band director’s entire career.
Talk about heightened expectations.
Mr. Moore simply did what he did best…got to know who I was as a person, rather than simply treating me as a student he interacted with for 40 minutes each day. After the initial awkwardness had subsided, I don’t remember a point where I actually stopped talking or asking him an endless barrage of questions. We talked about everything from sports to musical selections to aspirations and everything in between. Looking back, it was these early experiences that sparked my obsession with music and aspirations to become a music educator.
After my first experience playing in an honors band, I began to practice my craft incessantly. My family was never able to afford private lessons so I always had a chip on my shoulder trying to compete with the best. Upon entering high school, I made it my priority to be the first freshman to earn first chair honors and it was ultimately up to Mr. Moore to disrupt what was (in my opinion) an outdated unspoken rule that parts were assigned based on seniority. After securing the first chair my freshman year, Mr. Moore continued to raise the bar higher and higher, never allowing myself to be satisfied with where I was at. He instilled in me a work ethic that has since provided me with a plethora of opportunities and subsequent success from those opportunities. He transcended what it meant to be “just a teacher” and he slowly became my competition and trainer, simultaneously. I would often find myself after school in the band room for hours practicing a piece for an upcoming audition while he provided constructive criticism from the confines of his office, further fueling my desire to supersede my master. Never once did I stop and realize that he was staying after school, voluntarily, to allow me to have a place to practice and someone to train me.
As I sit here writing this post, 15 years after our first encounter, I can’t help but chuckle at the last conversation Mr. Moore and I had this past December, after the annual winter concert where he invites alumni to return and conclude the concert with the high school band. He’s inquiring about everything going on in my life – teaching, my family, the doctoral program – typical Mr. Moore behavior and I’m going on and on – typical Bow-Tie Joe behavior. Out of left field, 10 years after I had finished my high school marching band career as a drum major, he rhetorically asks me if I ever wondered why he didn’t select me to be one of the two drum majors my junior year. Flashing back to that moment in time I recall being a typical teenager and making a mistake. Nothing severe but it did involve Mr. Moore stepping into the situation to vouch for me on my behalf so that the consequences of my actions weren’t as severe as they probably should have been. After all this time I had simply attributed that poor life choice as to why I wasn’t selected to be the drum major my junior year…and I never gave it a second thought, until this past December. Here I was a 26-year-old adult, going on 10 years removed from high school, and my former mentor drops a bomb on me telling me it had nothing to do with the poor decision I made that year. It had everything to do with simply not being ready to lead the program.
What…?! How?!
I was one of the best musicians to ever walk through the hallways of my high school. How could I not have been ready?! Mr. Moore possessed this innate ability to recognize exactly how to extract the very best out of his students. He realized that while I might have possessed some of the characteristics commonly associated with leadership, I was still missing one key lesson: I had to learn to follow before I could lead. I had continuously raised the bar for myself and others in the band as it pertained to our abilities and subsequent performance. He informed me that by not selecting me he had hoped to ignite a fire within me to understand the needs of those around me and support them in their development and growth as well. While there was seemingly nothing wrong with how I operated in regard to my own dedication to my abilities, maintaining a high (and unrealistic) level of expectations for others could be disastrous. He helped me realize and understand that not everyone operates on the same frequency and you can’t ever expect them to and that it’s okay. Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish. Needless to say, that school year flew by and when I auditioned again for the drum major position, I was more than ready for the job. Due to Mr. Moore’s decision-making one year prior, the growth that I had experienced had paid off dividends as the band and I were able to have a record-breaking season.
Now that I’ve become the “old man” of the alumni group that returns every December to play in the winter concert, I’ve become much more cognizant of how all of my interactions with my band director (past and present) influenced and molded me into the man and educator that I am today. So I thank you, Mr. Moore, for teaching me more about myself in the six years that we spent together than I’ve learned in my entire academic career. And I could go on and on for hours about everything this man does for his students but I’ll keep it short and sweet. You helped me understand the importance of always keeping your room open for students needing a place to escape too. You helped me understand the amount of effort and energy it takes to be one of the very best at something and how to persevere even after you experience moments of failure and rejection. And lastly, and most importantly, you created for me a home away from home. You are the best teacher I’ve ever had.
Who was the best teacher you ever had? Why?
Thanks for reading and sharing!
Bow-Tie Joe